Let the count down begin...

So here is where I will start my "blog a day". I love to write and blog so it won't be a problem keeping up with it. I am still a little un decided on the direction of the blog. I am not sure if I want it to be a chronicle to my love of the life we are living or more of a this is what life is really like during a deployment so I can help other understand the cycles that we all go through. I am sure as the days un fold the blog will turn in to a mish mash of them all.

My love left a few days ago and has made it to Afghanistan. Or so I am assuming anyways. He was able to let me know he was in Germany and then shortly later in Turkey. My son is proud to tell everyone that dad-o is in Chicken....The lady at Chipolte was slightly confused. Anyways he let me know he was now on his way to Afghanistan and that leads me to believe he is there by now. The moments leading up to that last embrace are simply the hardest, the cries for daddy as he boards the bus, the looks on the single guys faces are almost haunting and yet all you can think about is don't cry your 8 year old is watching be strong be strong.....be strong. I managed to hold it together but damn that lump in my throat was killing me. Lil started to cry and all he could do was say how much he already missed daddy, my MIL was also a mess and couldn't believe that I have now had to endure this for the 5th time. She said she expected it to be more like when he left for basic...NOT SO MUCH. It knocked her off her feet and it was a sad sad thing to see. Where does that leave me? The only person left that has to be strong. The one that makes sure we are all fed, and not wallering in self pity...So I held it together and the lump grew larger. About 8 hours after he left I decided it was bed time. Kissed my lil man goodnight and listened to his fears. Which ranged from trip wires and probably the biggest most common fear "what if I forget daddy"? As I soothed him I felt myself needing to let go so I went to our bed room to climb in to bed only to mentally and physically fall apart. The build up was over and now I am left with an empty cold bed, the smell of his cologne and a pair of dirty socks on the floor. Oh how I regret nagging over dirty socks.